Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Saving the World and Whatnot
I got offered two jobs and a promotion in one week and to boot saw my Montreal Canadiens play the Toronto Maple Leafs at the Garden in Toronto, one of the last times they played there, with my world's best friend.
It was just as I was negotiating the terms of my promotion that McC called me to say "you're in kid," or something of that nature. To celebrate we hit the Hockey Hall of Fame, Wayne Gretzky's bar, and of course the game, on which I wasted (well) $125 for the sake of the scalper's kid's college fund and my own personal pleasure.
So life became pretty good for a while, I had a better job, which although still not socially productive at least was more interesting, paid better. Still I could feel the call of something bigger and better, and I felt that somehow, someway I was to be rewarded by my travels, that I would be "handed a pearl" as Kerouac said. That pearl would not only be the thrill of travel, the joy of freedom and wildness of life, the adventure, the reality of it all, but it would be the chance to learn, to educate, save the world and whatnot.
It was just as I was negotiating the terms of my promotion that McC called me to say "you're in kid," or something of that nature. To celebrate we hit the Hockey Hall of Fame, Wayne Gretzky's bar, and of course the game, on which I wasted (well) $125 for the sake of the scalper's kid's college fund and my own personal pleasure.
So life became pretty good for a while, I had a better job, which although still not socially productive at least was more interesting, paid better. Still I could feel the call of something bigger and better, and I felt that somehow, someway I was to be rewarded by my travels, that I would be "handed a pearl" as Kerouac said. That pearl would not only be the thrill of travel, the joy of freedom and wildness of life, the adventure, the reality of it all, but it would be the chance to learn, to educate, save the world and whatnot.
Labels: 1998, Canada, non-fiction, St. Lucia, Travel
Monday, June 04, 2007
Vegetarian Style
A few weeks later I flew to Hali for my interview, and saw J. Her and I had been in a long distance relationship for about six months by then, and it would be several more months before we were to reside in the same province again. It had put a terrible strain on our relationship, which although strong in love, and been tumultuous over our entire two years together.
I guess our first breakup that Christmas had been inevitable, though I didn't see it coming, and it hit me like a freight train. We were still best friends, and it was so good to see her that weekend.
The interview itself was an experience, and it allowed me to meet Morning, Frent, KK and Dudi, who would soon become a big part of my life, especially Dudi and KK. There was a one-on-one interview in the morning, which went well because I'm so used to interviews from my co-op experience in school, that I was relaxed and laid back. The afternoon interview was with a group of six other applicants. I hate those things because although they are supposed to be relaxed, it's phony because really everyone is competing with each other, but they are trying to be nice. I was told by a friend of mine that the purpose of those things is to eliminate ridiculously quiet and ridiculously loud individuals. There weren't any of either there though.
At the end they asked us each for our thoughts. "It's been fun," I offered, "it's too bad we can't all be accepted." How easily that line of bullshit flowed from my mouth. The truth was though that the afternoon had not been the total hell I expected, and some of the activities were actually quite interesting. To me at the time that is, I won't trouble the reader with such superfluous nonsense. I'll just say that I knew that four of the six of us would be accepted, and I knew which one of us would not be. There was a young girl (about 18 years) from the Cape here with a heavy accent who was clearly nervous and not very well spoken. She seemed like a sweet girl, and let me assure you that Capers are generally speaking the nicest group of people you could ever hope to encounter, but I had a feeling she was not going to be chosen. That left the other five of us on equal ground from my perspective, so I figured I had an 80% chance.
The interview had taken place on Monday, February the 23rd, 1998. That afternoon I was left with quite a high, having had a good time and having liked all the other potential participants and thinking I had a good chance. I danced into J's apartment that evening to spin her round the room like a ballerina with her hair and dress all sparkling in the spotlight, sending light waves dancing with equal brilliance across the crowd which was to make the singular cheering noise that can only be heard at spectacular events, and in the middle would be the two of us, flowing like a river round the room.
In fact I danced into an empty apartment; she was still at work. At the time she was working at a fast food joint selling delicious stuffed pitas. She hated her job because so many drunks harassed her at night, and she had to prepare meat and was and still is a vegetarian like myself. The two of us in fact quit red meat together in 96 and then chicken in 97. The chicken we quit simultaneously without even consulting each other; we were in different cities. Despite her temporary absence that evening my high stayed high and I flowed around that room myself until she got home. "Get dressed I'm taking you to dinner!" I said when she got home. She was captured by my bliss and the fact that I looked pretty good in my suit and soon we were paintin' the town red, in our more laid back vegetarian style.
I guess our first breakup that Christmas had been inevitable, though I didn't see it coming, and it hit me like a freight train. We were still best friends, and it was so good to see her that weekend.
The interview itself was an experience, and it allowed me to meet Morning, Frent, KK and Dudi, who would soon become a big part of my life, especially Dudi and KK. There was a one-on-one interview in the morning, which went well because I'm so used to interviews from my co-op experience in school, that I was relaxed and laid back. The afternoon interview was with a group of six other applicants. I hate those things because although they are supposed to be relaxed, it's phony because really everyone is competing with each other, but they are trying to be nice. I was told by a friend of mine that the purpose of those things is to eliminate ridiculously quiet and ridiculously loud individuals. There weren't any of either there though.
At the end they asked us each for our thoughts. "It's been fun," I offered, "it's too bad we can't all be accepted." How easily that line of bullshit flowed from my mouth. The truth was though that the afternoon had not been the total hell I expected, and some of the activities were actually quite interesting. To me at the time that is, I won't trouble the reader with such superfluous nonsense. I'll just say that I knew that four of the six of us would be accepted, and I knew which one of us would not be. There was a young girl (about 18 years) from the Cape here with a heavy accent who was clearly nervous and not very well spoken. She seemed like a sweet girl, and let me assure you that Capers are generally speaking the nicest group of people you could ever hope to encounter, but I had a feeling she was not going to be chosen. That left the other five of us on equal ground from my perspective, so I figured I had an 80% chance.
The interview had taken place on Monday, February the 23rd, 1998. That afternoon I was left with quite a high, having had a good time and having liked all the other potential participants and thinking I had a good chance. I danced into J's apartment that evening to spin her round the room like a ballerina with her hair and dress all sparkling in the spotlight, sending light waves dancing with equal brilliance across the crowd which was to make the singular cheering noise that can only be heard at spectacular events, and in the middle would be the two of us, flowing like a river round the room.
In fact I danced into an empty apartment; she was still at work. At the time she was working at a fast food joint selling delicious stuffed pitas. She hated her job because so many drunks harassed her at night, and she had to prepare meat and was and still is a vegetarian like myself. The two of us in fact quit red meat together in 96 and then chicken in 97. The chicken we quit simultaneously without even consulting each other; we were in different cities. Despite her temporary absence that evening my high stayed high and I flowed around that room myself until she got home. "Get dressed I'm taking you to dinner!" I said when she got home. She was captured by my bliss and the fact that I looked pretty good in my suit and soon we were paintin' the town red, in our more laid back vegetarian style.
Labels: 1998, Canada, love junk, non-fiction, nova scotia, St. Lucia, Travel
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The Fire Extinguisher Cabinet
It all began I guess in Waterloo, when my girlfriend J told me about this exchange program she read about on the Internet between St. Lucia and Nova Scotia. I was living in Ontario at the time but having grown up in Nova Scotia she figured I'd qualify. It was for youth aged 17-23, lasted five-and-a-half months, three in St. Lucia, and was called the EYE Program.
I was immediately interested because I was getting sick of my current job, which involved doing research for a bunch of would-be Thomas Edisons trying to push more pooper scoopers and other equally useless products onto our already saturated marketplace, thus wasting numerous resources and further destroying our preciously vulnerable planet. The crazy thing is I actually liked, even loved, this job at first, and had gone so far as to spend four years in school training for such work, which seemed interesting at first, then like a waste of time, and finally, worst of all, dangerous and damaging. I somehow had failed to make the connection between Marketing and the destruction of the environment. Here I was, a vegetarian, a reuser and recycler, hell, even a reducer, and I was doing research for yahoos so that I could help them help further bludgeon our poor planet to death.
But I didn't realize it. I didn't stop to think that by Marketing more and more products onto the marketplace, I was in effect neutralizing every effort I made as an individual to avoid taking part in the destruction of this planet. Worse, I was also neutralizing the effects of hundreds, thousands of other people like me, because I was helping to convince their cousins, neighbors, kids, even their dogs that they needed shit such as, well, pooper scoopers. A better example is fire extinguisher cabinets.
The fire extinguisher cabinet was an idea of a client of mine which he called his "brain-child". After I did research on the idea and found that there already exist many such products, and that they are somewhat popular, he wrote me a letter thanking me for my efforts and helping him solve some key "marketing problems", thus bettering his entire concept and helping him fulfill a dream. I was happy of course, who wouldn't be? I'd helped someone, and it was one of the most gratifying things to occur during my 11 months on the job.
And according to my client, his product would help save lives, because: it would beautify the fire extinguisher, thus causing people to place it in a more visible, and thus more accessible area. Therefore, in the event of a fire, precious seconds are saved. It could mean the difference between a blazing inferno enveloping entire neighborhoods, eventually forests, wildlife, taking the lives of brave firefighters and the innocent campers and rangers therein! and a little black mark in your carpet.
And this of course is the logical mindset of Marketers, especially advertisers. How can we make Mr. and Mrs. Schmoe feel the need to buy this product, when the need does not yet exist?
Of course, they don't teach you that in business school. They teach you that the goal of the Marketer is to identify an unfulfilled need, and fulfill it. However, they also teach you that to build a better mousetrap is not enough, you have to set the right price, you have to get the right distributors, and above all else, you have to $$$ell it! So if you see a nice looking frame for your fire extinguisher, you might say, "nice", and move forward to the next item on the auction block. But if you see the difference between that blazing inferno and that little black mark on your carpet, you say, "how much?" and then you say, "is that all? for peace of mind? Sold!" And everybody is happy.
Except for the trees who gave their lives for the building of the millions of cabinets sold now that everyone needs one, and those without are scorned publicly for their lack of responsibility, for keeping their extinguishers under the cupboard, and for the danger they pose to society. The trees are not happy. But why the hell not? A few dead to protect the rest from the ravages of fire, you'd think they'd be satisfied, those selfish bastards!
But the trees are not susceptible to Marketing, they are more savvy than the average consumer. They are logical creatures because they have no emotions, and they do not fear for their families’ safety, they can see the situation clearly, and they know that in reality, the Fire Extinguisher Cabinet will not save nearly as many trees as it took to make them. They even see that in the long run, the damage done by unnecessary resource-using products such as the Fire Extinguisher Cabinet will even take more human lives than it will save, because without trees, there is no hope for humans.
I was immediately interested because I was getting sick of my current job, which involved doing research for a bunch of would-be Thomas Edisons trying to push more pooper scoopers and other equally useless products onto our already saturated marketplace, thus wasting numerous resources and further destroying our preciously vulnerable planet. The crazy thing is I actually liked, even loved, this job at first, and had gone so far as to spend four years in school training for such work, which seemed interesting at first, then like a waste of time, and finally, worst of all, dangerous and damaging. I somehow had failed to make the connection between Marketing and the destruction of the environment. Here I was, a vegetarian, a reuser and recycler, hell, even a reducer, and I was doing research for yahoos so that I could help them help further bludgeon our poor planet to death.
But I didn't realize it. I didn't stop to think that by Marketing more and more products onto the marketplace, I was in effect neutralizing every effort I made as an individual to avoid taking part in the destruction of this planet. Worse, I was also neutralizing the effects of hundreds, thousands of other people like me, because I was helping to convince their cousins, neighbors, kids, even their dogs that they needed shit such as, well, pooper scoopers. A better example is fire extinguisher cabinets.
The fire extinguisher cabinet was an idea of a client of mine which he called his "brain-child". After I did research on the idea and found that there already exist many such products, and that they are somewhat popular, he wrote me a letter thanking me for my efforts and helping him solve some key "marketing problems", thus bettering his entire concept and helping him fulfill a dream. I was happy of course, who wouldn't be? I'd helped someone, and it was one of the most gratifying things to occur during my 11 months on the job.
And according to my client, his product would help save lives, because: it would beautify the fire extinguisher, thus causing people to place it in a more visible, and thus more accessible area. Therefore, in the event of a fire, precious seconds are saved. It could mean the difference between a blazing inferno enveloping entire neighborhoods, eventually forests, wildlife, taking the lives of brave firefighters and the innocent campers and rangers therein! and a little black mark in your carpet.
And this of course is the logical mindset of Marketers, especially advertisers. How can we make Mr. and Mrs. Schmoe feel the need to buy this product, when the need does not yet exist?
Of course, they don't teach you that in business school. They teach you that the goal of the Marketer is to identify an unfulfilled need, and fulfill it. However, they also teach you that to build a better mousetrap is not enough, you have to set the right price, you have to get the right distributors, and above all else, you have to $$$ell it! So if you see a nice looking frame for your fire extinguisher, you might say, "nice", and move forward to the next item on the auction block. But if you see the difference between that blazing inferno and that little black mark on your carpet, you say, "how much?" and then you say, "is that all? for peace of mind? Sold!" And everybody is happy.
Except for the trees who gave their lives for the building of the millions of cabinets sold now that everyone needs one, and those without are scorned publicly for their lack of responsibility, for keeping their extinguishers under the cupboard, and for the danger they pose to society. The trees are not happy. But why the hell not? A few dead to protect the rest from the ravages of fire, you'd think they'd be satisfied, those selfish bastards!
But the trees are not susceptible to Marketing, they are more savvy than the average consumer. They are logical creatures because they have no emotions, and they do not fear for their families’ safety, they can see the situation clearly, and they know that in reality, the Fire Extinguisher Cabinet will not save nearly as many trees as it took to make them. They even see that in the long run, the damage done by unnecessary resource-using products such as the Fire Extinguisher Cabinet will even take more human lives than it will save, because without trees, there is no hope for humans.
Labels: 1998, Canada, St. Lucia, Travel
