Thursday, June 19, 2008

If I had $10 Million - An Inflation Story


For 10 million I could buy a mile of the new twinned highway and still have enough left to get me one of those smart bombs, just a little one, just big enough to blow up my strip of twinned highway. I'd have to squirrel away enough to buy a wide angled camcorder and film the explosion from a rented helicopter. And there'd have to be road blocks to make sure there was no traffic - I couldn't afford the lawsuits.

Or maybe I'd buy me one a those new private sector prisons, double my fortune selling recycled uranium-powered tasers to convicted panhandlers so they can take their antisocial disorders out on sadistic guards peddling refried baked bean sandwiches. I could have a nice little factory farm in the yard - the inmates could provide free labour while I watch the US Open. I could give free sausages to whichever con raised the best sow.



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Comments:
I think you'd better hurry,,,if you procrastinate, the 10 mil probably won't be enough!

Also enjoyed your poetry in the previous post,,,,a lot!
 
I would invest in a hurricane making making machine and natural disaster insurance - in that order.
 
If you had ten million Benji you could throw money at groups and organizations that would squander most of it on administrative costs, you could open a bread line like Al Capone did and become a slum favorite, you could simply become the Laden of Canada and blow up other peoples highways while your pile accumulates interest or you could simply come to the US buy a prime piece of rural land with an outstanding mountain view for a tenth of your pile and just live in peace to write what you'd do with an inflated 10 million.
 
Wilsonart: thanks very much. according to pyramid.uk if I start now 10 mil is just a few hours soft labour away.

Toast: Luckily for you there's hurricane making machines all up and down those highways.

TWM: ah yes, with money like that the possibilities are endless. but why move to the sticks when i can write about it from right here?
 
They say that everything good in life is illegal, immoral or fattening. I don't think you'll be able to change the laws to outlaw your private prison, so to improve upon your plan, you'll have to find some way to make it fattening.

You could get your friends to pitch in with the $10 mill, and then buy them out later.
 
I keep bumping into you on my travels and I thought it was about time I paid you a visit. Enjoyed the read. Thank you.

Oh, ten million? I give 91/2 of it away. Who wants that sort of money?
 
Benjibopper that pic is just sad. Reminds me of the day I saw a bulldozer outside my window and a few hours later a patch of woods looked like a horrible wasteland.

I think it's crazy that they flatten everything, then "landscape". Idiocy.

Ten million might be a dolphin. That's the thing for people with more money than they can use but damned if they stop needing it.

As for your comment about DJ- I am pretty familiar and actually have a post on a section of one book elsewhere this week. Not on my own blog though.

I actually did write about culture. That's weird, huh? It was posted yesterday so I can even prove that we are not in collusion!! So there!

As for Hurricane making machines...I believe we have, in a way, already invented one.
 
oh, boy ..
blowing up highways, smart bombs, peddling recycled uranium ..
and blowing up refried baked bean sandwiches?

boy toys are fascinatingly endearing indeed ... ;)
 
XD: that's what the sow is for! besides, 10 mil is inherently fattening.

MD: thanks for dropping by, and welcome. 10 mil would give me more money than brains, and i've always hated people like that.

Lynn: weird indeed, synchronistic, too. fun to find like minds in cyber, though. that photo, though, is a bit of a trick. they're tearing up a parking lot. unfortunately, they're replacing it with a condo development. which will be fine if the condos are affordable. but, what are the odds of that? i'll keep you posted.

foam: sadly, not just for boys anymore. maybe the girls will play nicer?
 
Damn this is good. If I had 10 million, I'd fill up my gas tank.
 
Invest in the prison; I'll be the warden.
 
EOTR: ha! out here you couldn't even do that.

JR: oops, sorry, already bought the smart bombs.
 
leaving things alone would be just absolutely terrible for the uppitys wouldn't it?
 
noisy: pretty much sacrilegious.
 
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