Monday, August 06, 2007
The first seven weeks of the summer of 1998 were some of the best and simplest times of my life. My girlfriend and I were back together and were living together for the first time in almost a year. We also worked together and that went better than I'd hoped because we managed to keep our distance at work.
I can't say much about that time except that we had fun, simple vegetarian fun, and rarely had conflict. Work was hard but interesting, money was plentiful enough, our home was good other than the roommates who spent too much time fighting over trivial things.
We had each other, and were deeply in love and as close as we ever could be. We spent a mid-June night in a 2 1/2 star hotel near Pearson Airport just West of Toronto. It was half-price because it was under renovation, but it was nice enough. That night we had a stupid fight that I think was caused by the painful feeling that I was leaving behind the only thing that would ever really matter in my life.
We got over it and cried a lot of tears but when the morning came I held her in my arms and hoped for some kind of future forever. And then I went to the airport and nothing in my life has been quite so typical since.
I got double pain when I came across old Tom Eliot
when he penned,
"Leave us not be separated
And let my cry come onto thee..."
Gotta turn all this into art.
How'rya gonna do that?
Isn't that always trying to guess who farted?
The road has an end but until it comes the sun still rises and falls at it's own pace.
peace for the summer of '98 the last year I worked like a man and out drank Ivan.
Ivan: i dunno if i can because the pain is all gone. i sat on it too long. i thought it could be worked - i'm still scrounging. all i got in this material is morality tales and self-help manuals - like How to Avoid Heart-eating Lunatics in Lieu of Real Women. for now though i'll keep scrounging, if just to satisfy myself that it's junk before moving on to the next heartfile.
TWM: i dunno what it is, but at the time i was using vegetarian as an adjective a lot. anyway 98 was a good year indeed, though not an easy one.
Ahhh, the magnitude of "what is and what was never meant to be". But perhaps, the journey was.....
btw, you have an award waiting for you at crashed site
Good short. Its tough to get everything into a few hundred words.
PP: yeah. it's weird to look back on that time in my life, it seemed so unbearably important. but in retrospect, it wasn't.
Eric: more like a fish factory, more on that later.
Smack: intensity's a good word for it. i've since found a kinder gentler intensity with ten times the power.