Monday, December 19, 2005

Newfy Truck Driver - Our Last Ride

Our Nanaimo salvation - a 7---horsepower 120,000 tonne steroid-addicted caravan, driven by a wife-beater-mesh-cap-adorned paleface Newfy. Quiet at first, as he child-molester eyed Sadie. He felt sorry for my Nova Scotia roots.

"Yeah, I worked for a while in Halifax, haulin' fish from the docks. Shitty job. That's where there was the most suicides. Oh yeah, people kill themselves all the time jumpin' in front a transit trucks. I had 15 people jump in front a my truck in the 13 years I been drivin'. I remember every face.

"Five a those happened in Halifax. Now I make a point a drivin' in the passing lane; makes it harder for 'em to get in front a me. It's illegal but who gives a shit?

"Here it's mostly animals I have to worry about. Hit an elk last week - cost me $18,000 in damage. Those things are just the right height to fuck up your front end and smash your windshield with their antlers.

"I drive 14 hours a day, 6 days a week - so I hit about 5 deer a week. I own this truck so all those repairs come outta my pocket. I do okay though, $3,000 a week, not bad for deliverin' mail. I got a 5-year contract with Canada Post, renewable. Paid my house off in 3 years. But mostly, I sleep in my truck. S'okay though, no one at home anyway."

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