Sunday, October 16, 2005

An apology to Oscar Barbarena

Oscar Barbarena; 1988-2005

Oscar Barbarena, I want to apologize to you on behalf of the world
We can't blame the man who shot you down because he was scarred
with fear of constant danger and bloated with a trigger and an itch
to be the man society demands who can defend and be offensive too
Though it makes me angry what he did he's really not the problem
and I can even understand his reaction given his own circumstances

I sure as hell don't blame you and it's not just because you're so young
and I've been told of your innocent yearning for a mother to shield you
from the hate of the ones who have it all and jealousy of the ones like you
who have nothing at all and compete with you for any means of escape

What of your mother the one who escaped on her own and left you alone?
It's hard to blame a woman in Nicaragua when you consider her burden
Was she one of the great many abused by her husband after being raped by others?
What shape was she in to be a mother and what choice did she ever have?
What choice did you have either Oscar; who gave you a choice in life?

In all this post-modern contextualizing where do I a faraway foreigner
place my anger and sadness, who's ass do I kick here Oscar?
I want to stand up for you I want to make it right but I can't
For though I'm far richer than you I'm no Ronald Reagan
and I can't afford to finance the remaining Sandinistas
I've no strings to pull your politicos and I can only hope that
my few hundred dollars will maybe help one of your friends
but you are fallen and you won't be the last one gunned down

I want to apologize to you on behalf of the world I live in
because we are more at fault than the Nicaraguans who let you down
I guess we feared what you were capable of if you had an education
May or may not have thought about what you'd do without one
and with access to machetes and guns and glue to numb reality
I'm sorry you had to pay for the crimes of a US President
who went to his grave unpunished and blissfully unaware what he'd done
I hope he woke up in some kind of hell - maybe a Nicaraguan dump
but for my role in this unjust world I offer you my apologies
Oscar Barbarena I hope you can forgive but I guess more importantly
I hope you find peace and comfort, safety in the great mother of us all

With great sincere regret, anger, and sorrow,


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